


Apologies

by Soul4Sale



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Changing POV, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Regret, Unrequited Love, mentions of heavy slash.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 15:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soul4Sale/pseuds/Soul4Sale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malik has his way of apologizing, and Altair has his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprises Let Me Know He Cares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CadaverousDingo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadaverousDingo/gifts).



> It came to me while I was laying around with Todd, honestly. This idea of having their own way to tell each other that they're sorry, or that they regret something. You could say it spawned from a vague In-Character interaction. I hope you like it, baby.

Everything with him has to be a fight. He always, _always_ feels the need to show everyone and anyone how _superior_ he is to them. I've thought it ridiculous ever since I first met him, but it's gotten worse as of late. Before Solomon's Temple, even, before the losses we suffered, before we even had that mission... He has had this need to prove he is the best, no matter what. I like to think that it was letting him out of my shadow, but I fear it may have something to do with the man who made him an assassin, himself. Al Maulim has had so much influence over that stupid Novice's stupid head, and it clearly blinds his judgment. You can't go telling a man as bullheaded as Altair that he is the best at everything he does, because he will grow to believe it and his head will soon be too large to fit into any building known to this world.

But, I still find joy in the little things that prove to me there's still some of that stupid, joyful, witless child in there that I fell for when we were younger. There are things, ways he behaves, that Al Maulim hasn't tainted, and wouldn't be able to touch even with his ability to dig and eradicate things that displease him. It's the one reason why I'm even thinking of still giving him a chance.

These last few days, after the painful removal of my arm and the harsh recovery I've been through... All I've been able to do is think about him. I was too out of my mind with grief and pain before, to notice that he'd been there... 

There was a pot of flowers, though, beside my bed almost constantly, the rich smell of lilies keeping out the scent of death in this wing of the compound. After three days of being unable to do more than whine and moan in pain, I was able to realize just what waited there beside my bed. A pot, likely hand-made by my true assailant due to its lopsided corners and 'fuck it, it works' attitude, filled to brimming with red lilies. He knows that's my favorite flower, but aside from that alone... It's his way of apologizing. 

I can never be too sure on how deeply he thinks about the gifts he leaves for me, but my own mind supplies enough knowledge and familiarity with such things to think too much into it, just in case. The red lilies that stare at me are a form of apology for several reasons.

The first is to apologize for his own vanity.

Had he not been so arrogant, my brother would still be alive, and I would not be in this uncomfortable cot wailing my head off because of the pain in my arm that doesn't really exist. I know he will never admit to it, either in spoken word or writing, yet I still like to believe that this is his way of communicating such a thing to me.

The second is simple enough; he wants me to know how brave and confident I have been through this entire ordeal, and that while I haven't been particularly caring for his feelings, he finds it's still attractive for me to behave as such. We've always been at each other's throats, it seems, though it's almost always I who start the fight because of his ridiculous behavior. While it may be true, however, he still finds me to be what he wants.

I can tell because these also prove how he still loves and desires me.

There is a little box beside the pot, rich with a smell that I recognize from being out with him on several occasions. Chocolates, likely filled with some kind of alcohol. He's always liked to get me drunk before admitting his secrets and inner feelings, and even now it seems to be no different.

Last, but not least, I like to think that he still thinks I'm noble, or worthy of being here.

My life's worth never seems to bother him until he almost loses me. Not that that has happened often, but in the few times it has, he's always been out of his mind with worry. It always makes me smile when I wake from what seems like just another bad dream, and he's above me, yelling that if I died on him, he would find a way to punish me. Punishment... It's always been a way for him to try and hold himself above me, no matter what.

I close my eyes and drift a little, letting my head fall to the side closest to my new treasure. I think I am almost on the cusp of sleep before I feel warm, soft lips on my forehead, and hear a soft, mumbled, “I love you, Malik. Pull through, if not for me... Then for us. Please.”

It's fleeting, and the touch is gone before I can open my eyes. Perhaps it was a hallucination, perhaps it was reality, I don't know and possibly never will. Altair doesn't talk about his feelings, but he will leave me little gifts that speak volumes for him.

This still doesn't mean it's over, however. I will have to make him understand, one way or another.


	2. Touch and Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair elaborates on Malik's apology techniques

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part already! Imagine that... Well, here's the second installment, in any case.

I think Malik has a tendency to want to perpetuate animosity between us. He has no reason to still be so angry with me; I only tried to hold a conversation with the man, to see how he was doing, and he snapped at me something about making 'Brilliant plans like in Solomon's Temple?!' I've heard more than my share of contempt from the man, but in all my life I had never heard such a biting ferocity behind it. If I hadn't been so caught off-guard, I might have argued back. He lost his brother and his arm, but he isn't the first Assassin to lose something like that, and he certainly won't be the last. What could his deal be?

I even left him those flowers, tended to them, tended to _him_ when he was too in pain to know the difference between myself and his scheduled caretaker... And yet he still thinks that I _wanted_ this for him. Sure, I think he should just get over it and move on, but I never intended for my actions to backfire like they did. Robert is a slippery man, and clearly that is why my blade missed, it had nothing to do with my “idiocy and inability to listen and do as I am told”, as Malik so graciously put it.

But it's the night before I'm supposed to go off to assassinate Talal that I finally decide he needs to make an apology to _me_ , for continuing to drag this out like it's some kind of war. We don't _need_ to be fighting, and I'm _trying_ to be nice... He's just being the world's biggest dickwad. 

“--Cry in a corner, whatever you do before a mission, but do so _quietly_.” He snapped, turning from me with the idea to get some work done, I'm sure, but all he does is stand there, staring at me from over his shoulder. Finally, I go to the pillows in the sun, resting and tanning my face a little, until the sun began to creep towards the ground. When my eyes slid open again, the sky was becoming a deep blue, like Malik's coat, with dots of small, twinkling stars that looked like a thousand diamonds strewn across the material. I wondered vaguely if he kept it soft somehow, or if he just let whatever happened to it happen. Of course, I realized then that there was no way he would let something just 'happen', if he had any way to prevent it. 

I hear the clatter of the roof's lattice, and it seems Malik had gone out of his way to crawl upon the fountain, chest pressed into the stone as he used a long pole with a hook attached to close the latch. He still seems to think I'm asleep, because when he walks past me he mutters something about a 'stupid novice'. I wait, eyes closed, until he's returned to the inside of the bureau. I can hear the clack of the door that keeps the other Assassins out of the back, and the sound of a curtain being drawn and replaced can be heard. He's going off to his bedroom in the back, no doubt. What small comfort he was allowed, but it likely worked well enough for him.

Of course, having slept all day, I was restless, rising from the pillows and looking around, smirking a bit. Nobody else rest here today, which wasn't exactly a surprise, but it meant that I could get away with my plan. Carefully, I removed most of my clothes and such, laying it in the pillows before sneaking, barefoot and barechested, into the main room. Easily hopping the little door, I swung behind the curtain, only to see a small hallway and several rooms. On the right, I could smell musty papers and, upon poking my head inside, noted it must be some kind of clerical room. Past that on the left was a room likely used for a bathroom, and that meant the room at the end of the hallway with a thin, beaded doorway _must_ have been Malik's. With that smirk growing into a lecherous grin, I make my way silently forward. Peeking my head inside as quietly as I can, I realize with dismal regret the situation I've put my lover in.

Not that I'd ever admit that to him.

The room itself serves as little more than a place to sleep. The bed is small (but I think we could fit together if we curl up against one another), and there is a small dresser on one side for his clothes. He has a bedside table, but it looks like he had to shoddily build it himself. I would have to remember that for next time I need to apologize.

Making my way inside, I creep up to the bed and carefully lift the covers. He's mostly naked, except for his smallclothes, that I have to admit fit nicely on his body. Licking my lips, I crawl in with him and hold him close, pulling him up against my chest. Immediately he relaxes in his sleep, and I could tell he'd been tense before this. However, as he begins to wake, he shoves at my body, no matter what I do.

“Altair, get _out_ ,” he growls, but I can tell that he doesn't exactly mean it. The way his hand, only one now instead of the usual two, rubs against my arms, or my chest and stomach, I can tell he's forcing himself to put up this fight, even while half-asleep. He manages to get a breath of air between our bodies before he gives up, sighing softly and grunting in frustration. “Why are you here?” 

“I wanted to see how you were doing...” I whisper into his ear, and he shivers. “It's okay, Malik... I will not make fun of you for your shortcomings... I am not that heartless.”

“That sentence alone doesn't make any sense, Altair.” Malik sighed, but gave in and laced the fingers of his right hand with mine. “Novice.” He adds, I'm sure for his own benefit. I hum as I hold him, one hand tangled in his and the other gently petting his side. This is his way of apologizing, I think, allowing me to lay with him without much of a fight or complication. These moments where things are quiet and calm between us... It's how he shows he cares.

After a while, I hear the softest of snores leave him, and I know he's asleep. I relax a tad bit more, trying to relish this calmness for a while longer, and lose track of when I fall asleep, myself. The best apologies, if you ask me, are the unspoken ones; the ones that convey more than words ever could.


	3. Business as Usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after is always like every other morning; heartbreak for breakfast with a disappointment chaser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, as I finished the last chapter, I wanted to put something at the tail end, so you guys get a bonus chapter! Woo! Here goes nothing~

X-X-X  
 _Altair's POV_  
X-X-X

When I awake the next day, the bed is long cold, and I am indefinitely alone. I wonder how I could sneakily get to my clothes and such, when I note it's on the dresser, ready for me to wear; freshly cleaned, it seems, as well, but dry enough to wear. As I dress myself, I prepare for the inevitable snark about why my mission wasn't finished, or anything else Malik could find to harp on me for. 

Leaving the back rooms and carefully avoiding detection by anyone other than my secret lover, I smirk at him when he sneers.

“Did you have a good sleep, Novice? You pushed me out of my own bed.” It would appear, from his words, that we were alone, but I can't help but jeer him on.

“You could have simply climbed atop me and slept, Malik. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.” While my smirk grows, his disappears and becomes a frown. 

“You have a mission you have been neglecting.” That's right, Malik, change the subject when you become uncomfortable. I am quite used to it.

“Of course, Malik. Safety and peace.”

X-X-X  
 _Malik's POV_  
X-X-X

“Your presence deprives me of both.” I reply simply enough, and he waves me off. Just like every other time, I watch as he walks away, leaving me to my thoughts and these feelings that keep welling up. I feel somehow ashamed that I had lied to him, though at the same time I just want him to think all he does is bad for me. 

Sometimes I wonder if this is all it will ever be. Jeering comments, little digs at one another, and me watching his back turn and saunter away when one of us has had enough. 

I suppose his apologies had better start getting better.

**Author's Note:**

> I found something on red calla lilies, and this is what I based the majority of this on. “Red calla lilies come in a wide range of shades. Red calla lilies can be as light as hot pink or as deep and rich as burgundy. Red calla lilies symbolize love, desire, vanity, bravery, confidence, attractiveness and nobility. Give someone a red calla lily if you want to convey the message "I love you and will remain by your side through thick and thin." Or "You're beautiful, smart and fearless; I would love to take you out on a date." It isn't uncommon for brides to have a wedding bouquet made of both white and red calla lilies. If you are planning a wedding and plan to feature red calla lilies as your wedding flower of choice, expect to pay in the range of $350 to $400 for a set of 100 red calla lilies.” 
> 
> So, yes. I hope you guys liked the story. ^^ It's time for Altair's version...


End file.
